First work with low self esteem - and indeed low self confidence - one needs to empower the person to find some light at the end of the tunnel, to open their own door just a crack and to like what they see inside ... and not the opposite!

So how to do this?

Well I believe in two key approaches.

Approach No.1

I learned this from a self esteem colleague, Jack Canfield (perhaps better known for his 'Chicken Soup For The Soul' series).

Jack says: "Stuff Happens"

"But it's how you RESPOND to it that matters."

Who cares who 'created it', whose 'baggage' it is, whether it means I am a 'good' or 'bad' person.

Find a way to take action and respond and you'll feel a whole lot better.

Swim around in the agony of your guilt about creating it and you'll feel a whole lot worse. New Age Guilt. A whole self help industry is built on it.

Approach No.2

The second is to re-condition yourself to believe that the way you are right now is totally OK.

THERE IS NOTHING 'WRONG' WITH YOU!

We all need to accept that everything we say and do is based upon the fact that we are doing the best we can with what we know. It's all you can ever do.

Do not underestimate the power of affirmations.

The next time you find yourself being drawn into feeling unworthy or low in confidence because you might have some new-fangled 'syndrome' or are lacking in some vital product, say to yourself:

"I am perfect the way I am right now."

"I accept myself the way I am right now."

"At any given moment, I am doing the best I can."

Focus on your own continued improvement.

What skills can you learn to grow, develop and maximize your range of positive emotions and positive thoughts?

THAT is how to raise self esteem.

Now go and do something to feel good. Call someone, kiss someone, make someone's day.

Have a great day!

© 2005, Robert Scanlon, selfesteemplus