Controlling Relationships | Helping Kids Deal with Them— Controlling relationships are part of growing up in today’s word and they can be difficult to deal with for many reasons. This is why good friendships can be a soft place to land, especially for tweens. Good friendships can create an environment where kids feel safe, secure, and loved by special friends.
Of course, not all friendships provide that safe landing place for your child.
When kids find themselves in controlling relationships or difficult friendships, they might feel a little bit overwhelmed and a little bit unsure about how to handle the situation. But journaling, or learning how to express feelings on paper, can be an important part of working through the frustrations of a difficult relationship and coming out on the other side a stronger child who is well prepared to deal with the world at large.
Three Ways that Journaling can Help a Child through a
Difficult and Controlling Relationship
1. Working Through Feelings
In its simplest form, a journal serves as a daily record of things that have happened. If a child is working through how to handle a difficult relationship, writing in a journal on a daily basis can help to get the feelings out, express any frustrations and highlight successes that day in the relationship.
While journaling, the child might express a desire to handle the situation differently, or he or she might realize that something could have been done differently that might have diffused a difficult situation. Sometimes through journaling and through our writing we see ways to handle situations differently. A good journal that’s kept up on a regular basis can help a child see patterns that might lead to different decisions and different choices being made that support healthy friendships.
2. Provide a Graphic Record
A child who is artistic or who enjoys drawing might enjoy creating journal entries that are similar to those that are in the books “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” If a child is really struggling with a difficult relationship, creating a little cartoon of what happened might help the child through his or her frustrations. In addition, it might give the child an outlet for giving their character a different voice or a different response or a different way of handling something.
This creative record of what has happened and what might happen can also help build a child’s self-esteem enough so he or she can make better choices in that relationship later on down the road.
3. Create a Road Map of the Relationship
Creating a journal and keeping it up on a regular basis gives us a beautiful picture of our lives on a daily basis. It’s literally a snapshot of our lives and if a child regularly journals about a difficult or controlling relationship that seems overwhelming, he or she over time might see the pattern the relationship takes and it might give him or her some tools for how to handle it.
Being a kid these days isn’t easy and sometimes it’s hard to pick the perfect friends, those who are there to make us feel loved and safe. But if kids find themselves in less than ideal friendships, journaling can provide an outlet for frustrations and insecurities.